The Brother Cousins Podcast – Blog
Love – Philos
Objectives
• Define Philos
• Examine how to love like family
Last month, the Brother Cousins examined agape love. We looked at various aspects of love and how we should manifest the love of God in our lives. This month, we are going to examine other aspects of love. To start the month, I am going to look at Philos.
Philos is simply defined as friend. However, this is not the kind of friendship that we often see in our world today. We often use this term to define a wide range of people. We will use the word to define associates and acquaintances. People that we know, but with whom we are not really close.
What we find in scripture concerning philos is something different. It is, perhaps, the way we would describe “best friends”. To establish this idea from scripture, look at what Jesus says in John 15.
John 15:12-15 NKJV This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. (13) Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (14) You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. (15) No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.
Jesus restates His command for the disciples to love as He loves. He then tells them that the greatest agape love that one can demonstrate is to lay one’s life down for his friends. For the sake of clarity, I want to notice that the “love” mentioned here is agape, and the “friends” mentioned here is philos. This statement and command from our Lord seem so simple, and perhaps it is, but contains so much that I have missed over the years.
I would like to dig in on this passage for our blog post this week. I want to notice the things that, while probably obvious to many, I have been oblivious to most of my life. The verses contain so much wisdom and doctrine concerning God’s expectation for the mindset and behavior of His followers. All contained in the example of the life of His son.
First, with Jesus pairing loving as He has loved with laying our lives down, we see the standard to which he expects us to measure ourselves. I think this pairs very well with what I mentioned in last month’s “Love Defined” episode. That we are expected to be living demonstrations of what love is to look like within the kingdom. Here, Jesus says to lay our lives down for our friends. This calls to mind what John wrote in his third epistle, “greet the friends by name”.
We should be friends to one another. Not just acquaintances. Not just nice people that attend a religious assembly a few times per week together. How are we to fulfill this command to lay our lives down for one another if we don’t know each other? How are we supposed to lay down our lives for people that we don’t know? I dare say that we will have very few chances to take a death penalty on behalf of another person like Jesus did. We must live lives that are sacrificial to each other in order to fulfill this expectation.
The title of this week’s post is “Philadelphia – Love Like Family”. The root of the word philadelphia is the word philos. It is translated as brotherly love or brotherly kindness in the English translations of the New Testament. I believe there is a link to these ideas. We would lay our lives down for most, if not all, of our physical family. Understanding that we have become God’s children, and therefore siblings of all Christians across the globe and across ages will help us be exemplify the love of Jesus toward other Christians.
It is worth noting that we a command to have brotherly love towards one another in several places in the New Testament. Romans 12:9-10, 1 Peter 1:22-23, 1 Peter 3:8,9, 1 Peter 4:8-9. This is not an exhaustive list, just enough to get the idea how important it is to us. I want to come back as we close and consider a couple of these passages.
Next, I want to consider that this is more than mere acquaintance. I think we would agree that God knows all people. Here, Jesus caveats who is His friend. He qualifies it by saying that those who keep His commands are his friends. This is not a new concept. In James 2, we are told that Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness and that he(Abraham) was called a friend of God.
He further demonstrates that this goes beyond association or acquaintance. He says a servant doesn’t know what the master is doing, but that He has told us everything. In our examples, we don’t tell coworkers or acquaintances everything that we have going on. We save that kind of conversation for those with whom we are close. Family and very close friends.
I don’t think this was a claim or promise exclusive to the apostles or other disciples of Jesus’ day. From what I can see, the only qualifier is that we keep His commands. It doesn’t require having walked with Him on this earth. Sharing a meal with Him, etc. Fortunately for us, we have His commands written down so that we may know Him to this very day.
The next point follows the previous point. Jesus didn’t just give His life and become an atonement for the apostles and other disciples of His day. He gave His life for all of humanity. What I see now that I have missed for years, is that Jesus has taken the first steps in this relationship. We have lived in open opposition to God. We made ourselves His enemy. The sacrifice of Jesus is God demonstrating that He desires a relationship with us and the lengths to which He is willing to go to make us His children.
Thus, we have another very difficult and high standard toward which we are to strive. Our love is not meant to be only to those with whom we share Christ’s blood. It is to be extended from Christ, through us, to everyone with whom we come in contact. We must lay our lives down in respect to the fact that there are many that will reject us because they reject Jesus. That does not mean that we can call for lightning from heaven to come and destroy them.
We must continue to love them and pray for their salvation. Remember, in John 13 Jesus said that His love being manifest in His disciples would be a token to the world, showing that we are His. If we are sharing this love with one another in the manner we ought, it validates the love that we show the world. This kind of love can often times be weird or suspicious. We can do a lot of good for the cause of the gospel by behaving the way we are called to within God’s family.
To wrap up this week, I want to consider a couple of ideas from the passages used earlier to show how we can have brotherly love more naturally. The passages are 1 Peter 4:8-9 and Romans 12:9-10. These two passages can help us work towards the proper mindset in dealing with the family of God.
1 Peter 4:8-9 NKJV And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “LOVE WILL COVER A MULTITUDE OF SINS.” (9) Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.
Here, Peter commands the church to have “fervent”, or enduring love for one another. He states that love will cover a multitude of sin. I will note that I have talked about this in greater length in “Love Defined”. If you are curious as to my thoughts regarding what Peter is talking about here, I would refer you back there. I will simply say that we should be doing everything in our power to help one another live up to the standard of Christ in our lives. Family does not allow family to live in a way that endangers themselves without providing warning, often with tears, that one may be on the path of destruction.
Peter then commands that Christians be hospitable to one another “without grumbling”. We should love to use our resources for the cause of the kingdom. We should love opening our homes to our family in God and giving of our goods. It is not an accident that this passage is placed here. Sharing meals will lead to us being a better family. It is difficult to be upset with someone about them trying to help you if you are also eating their food.
Romans 12:9-10 NKJV Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. (10) Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;
Another short passage. I am not going to spend much time on this passage, as Jeffrey is going to talk about it next week. What I do want to notice is all the commands given here, all dealing with how we treat one another.
Love without hypocrisy. That means that we are to take off the masks. Be real with each other. If we are hiding from our family, we are only hurting ourselves. We are to be “kindly affectioned” which is philostorgos. This is fraternal or familial affection with brotherly love. If you take nothing else from this, take the idea that God wants us to genuinely see each other as family. To be the special people of God. Letting go of all other earthly identifiers, which are inferior to this identifier.
Lastly, we are to show how we honor one another by giving preference to the other. I don’t think that this passage is telling us to prefer to be around other Christians, rather than those who are not. I think it is implied, but what we are being told, I think, lines up with the greatest commands and the new command. We put our energy into what our brothers and sisters need. We constantly ask what can be done to help us grow closer to one another or closer to God.
The Brother Cousins 